My Inner Critic
She scolds me for… what… exactly? Not doing everything she conceives, not being able to write all the ideas, spin all the plates. Conversely, for not being perfect, crossing t’s and dotting i’s. She tells me I’ve already failed.
She is Midge, my inner critic, named for Barbie’s best, brunette friend, sold 1963-67. Discontinued. Midge is just as good as Barbie – cast from the same die – but somehow second class. She holds Barbie’s purse.
When I hold myself back for some perceived failing, I am pleasing to Midge – safe, second string. Don’t try to be Barbie, she warns. But, why not?
When I fail to be as fabulous as my glorious vision, I tell myself, it’s because I’m Midge. Not Barbie. Midge is both a safe path and a limiting excuse.
I call my inner critic Midge. Does yours have a name?
Is there a reason to name your inner critic – that voice in your head that makes it hard to write and harder to appreciate what you’ve written?
Name Your Inner Critic
Why? Why even acknowledge that mealy-mouthed naysayer? There’s a couple of sound scientific reasons to name and claim your inner critic.
- Notice you are not your inner critic. That thought is just a thought. A part of you
- Appreciate her. She’s trying to keep you safe.
1. Notice you are not your inner critic
When your inner critic talks, it takes over your whole body. Emotions arise. Hormones release. Muscles tighten around heart, hands, stomach. It can be hard to remember that voice is not you. You are bigger than that one thought of caution, anxiety, shame.
You are not the thought.
This may seem obvious right now, when you’re not in the grip of a critical thought. But next time you’re truly believing that your work is no good, or you’re not good enough to compete in a setting or go out for an award, see if it’s just your inner critic.
It can take me a minute. I’m in the grip of a fear or anger at myself and then I see her.
Hi, Midge.
2. Appreciate them.
Your inner critic is working hard to keep you safe. She’s blowing smoke, slamming doors, flooding you with hard memories, doing whatever it takes to keep you from…
GOING IN THERE.
TRYING.
SEEING THE POSSIBLITIES and not just the RISK.
Midge works hard. You gotta give her credit. And she’ pretty powerful. Sometimes, for at least a minute, or sometimes a few days, she’s running the joint.
She has your best interests at heart. She just doesn’t update what “your best interests” are very quickly. She’s still working on the best interests of the whole species (don’t stand out or you’ll be eaten by a lion, or banished by the tribe leader) or the best interest of yourself as a little child. (Don’t outshine. Don’t try something “cool” on your homework assignment. Don’t try and make your angry parent laugh.)
At any rate,
Midge didn’t get the memo.
She’s working with ancient information. Your best interests nowadays often lies beyond that risk. Out in public. Living large. Living out loud.
So, thank Midge. She loves you. She means well. She’s been left out of the loop.
Your Inner Critic’s Name?
What name might you give your inner critic? What does his or her voice sound like? Who does s/he remind you of? Do they take a physical form?
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