It’s a little known fact about the human anatomy that we each have a Smootherator – that flits between heart, mind, and hand – staying, smoothing, soothing our souls. It’s how we can walk away from a bully, bite our tongue in a meeting and keep ourselves from crying Every. Time. We. Feel. Like. It.
The Smootherator is what keeps your pot from boiling over. I’m at a higher than normal simmer lately, so my Smootherator is working in emergency mode. 24/7. I don’t even realize it, bec my kids are still alive, and meals happen, and my work is getting done. Smooth sailing.
Children’s Smootherators are not fully developed – they cry when they want, pitch a fit when the pressure builds, refuse to share when they’re having a hard morning. Adults are smoother – at least smoother looking, even if we’re not smoother feeling. Ours is sophisticated enough not to blow chunks at the slightest provocation. Ours can handle a lot of bullshit – and blend it down into a healthy smoothie, that goes down nice.
When there is too much to handle, however, the Smootherator blows. Young and old. Men and women. We blow. And in that moment, we don’t factor in the cost. The Smootherator tries to keep a lid on things, but once overflowed, it flings and spills and splays its contents – however briefly – all over the walls of your inner sanctum. Without warning, it wreaks havoc.
Havoc. What does that look like outside that inner sanctum, now covered in goopy, sticky, complicated messiness? How to smooth without the help of the Smootherator?
- Sometimes it looks like eating a whole Easter bunny, or 4 servings of mashed potato and gravy
- Sometimes it looks like a fight with your husband
- Sometimes your kids seem a little frightened of Mommy, and suck their fingers
- Sometimes you yell at a stranger
- Sometimes you troll on FB
- Sometimes you slam a door or bang a pot down
- Of course, it can look like a glass of Mommy wine
- Or a trip to the shopping mall
- Or a hike, or a walk on the beach
- For some people, it is cleaning angrily
- Or just crying
Havoc is the absolute opposite of smoothed. Havoc can make you feel desperate to feel better, to get that lid back on. But these are tricky times, and even if you have the newest model of Smootherator-2020/COVID-19 edition, you might blow your lid.
It’s okay. Inner sancti are easy to clean. Just cry. Tears are the perfect cleaner. They wash away the goop. Cry without apology. Cry without trying to fix anything. Just let the feelings flow through.
Feel. Let yourself be awkward or weird. Say no to things you don’t feel like saying yes to. You do not have to be smooth. Lumpy is excellent. The best mashed potatoes and the best gravy are lumpy.
If you feel lumpy, and have feelings that need to flow, try writing. It doesn’t have to be pretty or smooth, but three pages a day can help you see your feelings on the page, see the warning light on your Smootherator, and let some things flow, before you blow the lid.
Join our FB group – if you haven’t already – and let me know what blows the lid off your Smootherator?