“I want to fall in love with my book and be excited to write again.”

I can 100% relate when my clients feel this way. They’re writing along, feeling g-r-e-a-t, when something very fun and exciting suddenly gets complex and frustrating.

Will Cheetos work? Punching a pillow? Binge-watching whatever?

Writing – like most endeavors that engage you heart and soul – creates an ebb and flow of love, excitement, enthusiasm, drive, dread, fear and motivation. And your energy surges followed by nose-dives. If you’ve worked with me a while (and had a Creative Selfie) you know these dips and rises are largely related to how your brain works, when creating.

  • Some thinking skills are fun for you – give you energy
  • Some thinking skills are not your best – they drain your energy

You may not be feeling this right now, but it will show up some time, in some phase of your project – writing, editing, planning for, or marketing your book. So, here’s my 3-Step  way out of this feeling, so you can two-step your way back into wooing your story.

3-Step Cure for “I’m sick of this manuscript…”

Step 1 – Recognize: this is normal

Please know this feeling is normal and to be expected when you’re writing anything, long or short.

  • Let go of the belief that say you shouldn’t feel this way. (It’s normal.)
  • Say: “This is normal, and I’m okay.”

And just bec this is something you want to do, don’t beat yourself up with shitty little thoughts.

  • Let go of the belief, I’m supposed to love this 100% of the time
  • Let go of the thought, if I’m not loving it I should just quit
  • Let go of the pressure to finish, quit, love it, embrace it, do it.
  • It is okay to not do it at all. It’s okay to do it when you’re ready. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.

Step 2 – Give yourself permission to… anything

Have you noticed how much pressure you feel to “want to do it” because it’s “your passion?” Have you internalized the constant barrage of DREAM IT, DO IT and FOLLOW YOUR MUSE that makes you feel like if you don’t, you’re somehow less of a person?

You don’t have to write. (Or at least not right now, or not this thing, or not if/when you don’t want to.) And you’re still you, still cool. Still interesting.

It is your work. You get to decide. “Try on” many different thoughts, and see how they feel. (Hint: thoughts are in your head. Feelings are in your body.)

  • I’m doing this. (Does that feel good? real?)
  • I’m completely stopping. (How does that feel? good? real?)
  • I don’t have to do this.
  • I have to do this.
  • I want to do this.
  • I don’t want to do this.
  • I can do this.

When your thought is aligned with your feelings, you’ll feel it in your body. You’ll relax, and feel at peace. When the thought is not aligned (when your stupid, baby ego is trying to convince you to do it, just do it) your body will feel that, too. Tense. Different people feel it in different parts of their body: Heavy heart, Teeth clenched. Shoulder blades clenched. Check your fists, tummy, even feet for tension.

If you’re feeling good, then you chose the right thought. It is aligned with your feelings. What was that thought? And therefore, what is your immediate decision? Sometimes, it helps just to make your thoughts overt, clear, and actionable.

Step 3 – Look at the assumptions you’re making, and free yourself

Yeah, But… What is the thought that you think, censor, think again, don’t say, but it makes you feel bad? What is the thought that you’re embarrassed or afraid might be true? Not about your writing, but about yourself, as a writer. Here’s some things I’ve heard clients say, sometimes uttered quietly, fearfully.

  • If I was any good, this would be easy.
  • Is there any point, at my age?
  • Will anyone want to read this stuff?
  • I can’t tell if I’m any good.

That one thought – that you fear is true – can drain you of energy. And that thought is at the ready, simmering. Whenever you already feel a little low, it pounces.

And I can hear your “Yeah, Buts” already. Because what, do you secretly know you’re too old, it’s too hard, you’re no good, and you’ll never be published? Is there any way to know with certainty that’s true?

And to be honest (and here’s where I’m a bad coach) all that could be true. But the important part is – YOU DON’T KNOW. You can’t know it about yourself. Period. Not from where you sit, right now. This thought is not serving you. It is stopping you. So, you have to be armed against that silly, useless thought.

And here’s the thing. It’s actually none of your business. Other people get to judge if you’re good enough.

You just get to write, enjoy writing and put out your best product. That’s all that is yours to control. Make it as good as you can, and stand by it.

The rest is literally not your business. It is the business of others.

And it becomes an asynchronous collaboration with your editors, publishers, and readers. They each get to take what you wrote and create their own… version, book, imagined world. It’s out of your hands.

Do you feel even a wee bit lighter? Breathe in, breathe out. If not, take a break from it all for awhile. You’ll find your way back, or a way forward – whichever turns out to be right for you.

If you want to know more about which phase or phases of the creative thinking process give you energy, and which drain you, read more here.