Emotions are an essential part of writing – what do the characters feel? How does it manifest itself? How do others react, behave, feel. This is true in a story, screenplay or even a FB story or advertisement. The same strong emotions that motivate our characters secretly motivate (and demotivate) us, as writers.
This list of toxic emotions comes from Debbie Ford’s “Overcoming Self-Sabotage” on DailyOm, that I’m taking over the next 8 weeks. This is a deep and meaningful self-study course, and I highly recommend it. In the meantime, let me share one insight, and see if it can help you feel lighter about what you’re trying to write. Or give you insight into how your characters might behave, based on their own emotional cores.
- Hurt — victimization, helplessness, blame
2. Sadness — self-pity, regret
3. Shame — humiliation, embarrassment
4. Hopelessness — loneliness, despair, desperation
5. Fear — anxiety, panic, immobilization
6. Anger — resentment, bitterness
7. Hate — meanness, vengefulness
8. Jealousy — envy, possessive
9. Pride — better than, self-righteousness
10. Greed — insatiable emotional hunger
11. Guilt — self-blame, false responsibility
When you look at this list of 11 emotions, can you see ONE that is holding you back on a day-to-day basis? What one emotion is dominating your self-sabotage? How does it make you feel and/or behave?
How do you hope the world will see you? On a very good day, when you’re impressing someone perfectly, and they seem to love you for who you are, how are they seeing you?
Now consider, what is that feeling’s opposite? Often what you hope desperately to project is a strong cover-up for what you consider the “real you,” the emotions you hope to hide and deny.
Now is when we separate writer from character. Your characters are usually unaware and helpless in the face of their emotions. You do not have to be.
If you’ve found your one self-sabotaging emotion, how can you permit that emotion? Don’t try to override or deny it, let it be. How can you permit it, even admire it? Give it free reign over your body. Where do you feel it? Stay open and curious, even if you start crying. It’ll pass through you and you have a front row seat.
Whoa. That was surreal, huh? That emotion just had its way with you. You stopped denying, covering up, eating, smoking, drinking, distracting, and just said, okay. I’m sad. or I’m afraid. or I feel guilty or vengeful or hurt. And how does that feel?